Holiday Peace Planner: 5 Essential Scripts for Setting Boundaries

Use these brief, polite, and firm scripts to protect your time, energy, and mental health throughout the holiday season.

1. Declining an Invitation Gracefully (No Excuse Needed)

• When to Use: When you need to say 'No' to an invitation to prevent overcommitting.

• The Script: "Thank you so much for the invitation; that sounds wonderful! Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it this year. I truly appreciate you thinking of me, and I hope you have a fantastic time!"

2. Ending a Long or Draining Phone Call

• When to Use: When you need to exit a call with a well-meaning relative or acquaintance to reclaim your time.

• The Script: "I have loved catching up with you! Before I have to jump off—I'm just about to start dinner—I wanted to wish you the happiest of holidays. Let's make sure we chat again early in the New Year when things calm down. Talk soon!"

3. Handling Unsolicited Advice or Personal Questions

• When to Use: When a conversation becomes too personal, judgmental, or starts to deliver unsolicited advice.

• The Script: "Thank you for the suggestion/concern! I appreciate you sharing your perspective, but I'm comfortable with the decisions I'm making regarding [topic]. Now, I need to know: Where did you get that beautiful holiday centerpiece/decoration?"

  
  

4. Setting Boundaries Around Food and Self-Care

• When to Use: When you want to choose foods that support your energy without having to justify or explain your choices.

• The Script: "Everything looks delicious, thank you for hosting! I'm really focused on maintaining my energy this week, so I'm going to take it easy on the sweets and load up on [specific foods you want, e.g., protein and vegetables]. 

  
  

5. Managing Financial Expectations (Setting a Gift Limit)

• When to Use: Proactively, to reduce financial stress for yourself and others by setting a clear expectation on gifting.

• The Script: "To help everyone ease up on the budget this year, my partner and I decided we are only purchasing gifts for the kids/will be sticking to a $15 limit for the adult exchange. We're focusing on quality time together instead of gifts. Hope that works for everyone!"